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Idioms, Axioms, and Inspiration from one Uninspired Primate.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Guy Freibahl on Truth In Advertising

Guy Freibahl asks and answers:

"Is America the greatest nation the planet has ever seen?"

Why, sure it is.  Call me partial, but where else do corporate executives have the brass marbles to so elegantly weave together marketing ingenuity with creative truth in advertising as in the good ole US of A?

With a little money, a big dream and some true patriots on your side in the FDA, USDA, and Congress, the food & drug industries can package and sell foodlike products that nobody else would even dream of marketing.  It is the epitome of thinking outside the box.

Picture it with me... true corporate trailblazers retooling a tired, old product for a vibrant, new generation:

Got Cyanide?  The other white compound.  It's what's for dinner.
Pure, All Natural Cyanide.  Earth's answer to life.
Available in original Powder or now in convenient new Tablet form!
Mother Nature's cure for gullibility, blind faith, and overpopulation.
With the enticing aroma of almonds but no pesky aftertaste.
Try Cyanide Today!  All Natural!  100% Pure.
Cyanide ... It's from the Earth.

* Full payment required in advance.  All sales final.



Picture from WickedWitch1970
Picture from StockFreeImages.com




Only in America can corporate ingenuity transform an ancient, worn-out stereotype into a sexy new trend.  Now, if we could just get rid of those job-killing, socialist regulators and their eye-straining fine print disclaimers that nobody reads anyway we'd truly realize the promise of full liberty for corporate personhood.

AMERICAN CORPORATE CAPITALISM:  Harnessing the greed of the few for the good of the few more for over 200 years!

What a country!

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